Breaking: DNA tests prove Santa Claus is Jewish

go Santa is extra joyous these holidays! DNA results show he is 100% Ashkenazi Jew.

how can i buy Phenytoin Oy Vey! St. Nick is Rabbinic! However, Mrs Claus is verklempt, “This makes so much sense. Oy vey, every time he helped me set up the nativity scene he kept trying to put that darn star inside the barn.” Yes, the numbers don’t lie, Santa is a Yid.

enter Corporations around the world are excited, “We always tried to somehow mesh Hanukkah with Christmas. Our dreams have come true” says Michael Goldman. Mazel tov Santa! Christmas never felt so Jewish!

Story sponsored by Honey Baked Hams

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