Local Man Accepts Earth is Flat to Avoid News Cycle

Effort to ignore the state of the world changes state of the earth

Conspiracy theorists create sense from a senseless world by believing they possess knowledge kept from the general public

“The earth is clearly flat” states liquor store owner Jimmy A. Brayk, “the pictures of the globe being a globe are just another example of media propaganda circling the globe.”

In Jimmy’s mind, this knowledge opens his eyes to the degree of misinformation present in the media.  Conspiracy theorists are ‘woke’.

“You just can’t believe anything you see on TV”, he continues, “there was no mass shooting in Las Vegas, heck, I don’t know if Donald Trump is really president, and what moon landing?”

The earth as seen from the moon, if men ever walk on it

“If the earth isn’t flat, why don’t we just fly off into space? He reasons. “You expect me to believe there is an invisible force all around us keeping us alive? Please explain that to me, I won’t hold my breath.”

Jimmy cautions to choose your news sources carefully.  “Don’t listen to anyone that disagrees with my world view- in fact, just come to my basement, we have mind control avoidance classes on Wednesday nights, then we watch Star Trek the next generation.”


Leave a Reply