Eli Manning Benched for Superior Player

Eli Manning BenchedNew York- In a shocking turn of events, perennial starting QB for the NY Giants Eli Manning has been benched in favor of backup Geno Smith.  The struggling Giants (2-9) have chosen to save face by starting a QB with a little more game in his personal life.

Although Smith is 12-18 as an NFL starter, with 28 touchdown passes and 36 interceptions, his game off the field is being tapped to motivate a team that lacks the squad needed to bring home some much needed ‘moral’ support.

Riding the pine means riding the fine for Geno

“Look, when your team is hurtin’, you need your QB to drop some serious game” states injured WR Odell Beckham Jr., “you need a leader that can get you out that cold spell, and Geno, well, he has brought home a few more heaters than Eli.”

Although Eli has been sacked 26 times this season, he has yet to get one he can be proud of.  With one of the weakest lines in the NFL, the 36 year-old QB has seen his share of rumps backin’ up, but none weighing in under 350, or female.


Jackie Presley
Geno Smith is a real playa

“Geno gets the girls and closes the deal” says Jason Pierre-Paul, “Eli just lies on his back and complains about protection.  We need a real leader.”

Eli has been married to his wife Abby since 2008, and they have 3 daughters together.   Geno has been riding the pine for the Jets and the Giants and had much more time to spend on the dating scene.  He has been seen with such sirens as Kristen Stubbs, Jackie Presley, and Chelsea Lovelace.


Eli’s wife Abby is Amy Schumer’s thinner sister

As predicted, Eli’s father Archie Manning was quick to defend his son’s virility on ESPN.com. “Eli is a rock, not too high and not too low,” he said. But Archie also admitted that in a conversation with Eli’s wife Abby he said; “When your team is no good, it gets hard.”

Obviously, Eli’s performance has become a confusing issue that cannot be ignored.  The man that twice defeated Tom Brady needs to find that swagger again if he wants to retake his team.

kristen stubbs
Kristen Stubbs is just waiting for an inappropriate football innuendo


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