Bi-Partisan initiative donates $1 to every magnificent beast slaughtered for sport.
California- An innovative Republican program aims to unite parties on a sensitive issue: hunting. Big game sport hunting has been long despised by animal rights activists and liberal principles. But a new hunting program designed to give back to arts and humanitarian charities is taking a stab at making the practice more palatable.
“The first time I seen the light of life fade from the eyes of a defenseless 1200 pound elk, I was motivated to inspire change in the world”, states Richard “A.K.” Winchester, founder of game hunting club “Boy’s Using Their Cash to Help Everyone Rise” or, B.U.T.C.H.E.R. “I was only 13, but I instantly understood that desire to crush a weaker being under my foot. If our program can help motivate some pony-waxer to make something of himself, then I will be happy.”
Winchester thinks it is time for hunters to do more. “Clients spend $10,000 a week per person for the thrill to kill and dismember a lesser creature- the least they could do is give a dollar to support an even lesser one.”
Critics of the charity that say a dollar donation per kill is an insulting pittance, don’t appreciate the organizer’s intentions- according to Winchester. “That dollar could get a tree-humper a new charm bracelet- or a nice lunch, I mean, how much is a salad anyhow?” he asks.
Winchester hopes putting the issue in his cross-hairs will mend old wounds. “Let me tell you something; money talks. Once these bleeding hearts see those George Washington’s bleeding in from our massive hunts, they’ll forget all about the gunshots and torture. They just need to hand out a few free green tea lattes to see the good this program can do.”