Man Reaches Groaning Age When Sitting Down

A Chicago man recently hit the age to make audible moans of discomfort whenever he sits down.  Although the man doesn’t suffer from any medical problems or injury, the condition is an early symptom of a condition called Craniorectal Inversion.

“We see this commonly in men, typically starting after age 35” states Dr. Noah Lott, “it starts with groaning, complaining, and general dissatisfaction with how their life turned out.”  As the symptoms increase in severity the sufferer begins to manifest signs of dementia.

“He begins to remember the past as being better then it was” says Dr. Lott, “and a tendency to start conversations with anyone under 30 with the phrase “when I was your age.”

Dr. Lott recommends slowing the illness with a medically supervised mid-life crisis.  “Buy a motorcycle and clothes from Forever 21.  Pretend to be much younger.  Most patients see improvements within a few weeks.”

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