Martians Played Marbles: NASA

Martians HUGE Marble Players
Mars shooter found in a game of Ringer Courtesy: CNET/NASA

NASA has recently addressed UFO theories regarding the discovery of a ball-shaped artifact seen in photos of the Martian surface.

Originally believed to be a Martian sourapple jaw-breaker, NASA has now confirmed their leading theory points to the remains of inter-planetary marble tournaments.  “These games were no doubt high stakes, involving the future of intelligent life on Earth and Mars,” stated astrophysicist Dr. Noah Lott, “apparently, the Martian’s tiny thumbs led to their eventual defeat, and the destruction of their civilization.”

The exact cause of the Martian collapse is still being debated, but many signs point to a civilization-wide “honor suicide”.

“This tournament was for ‘all the marbles’, you might say”, added Dr. Lott, “these games involved their underlying need for uniqueness.”

Artist depiction of Martian vs Earthling marble battle

In other words, the Martians needed to be different from other intelligent life by embracing beliefs that were out of the ordinary.

“When they no longer believed that they were the best marble players in the solar system, they killed themselves to avoid enslavement by the reptilian master race on Earth”, according to Lott.

Conspiracy theorists, believing they possess information that NASA doesn’t have, say that the truth is being hidden.  “Clearly these are globular mineral deposits” states UFO expert Barry Le Trouph, “no one in their right mind would believe that these were marbles, that’s like saying these were cannonballs in some ancient Martian war. They can’t be that stupid, what are they hiding?”

Time is hoped to reveal all as the Curiosity rover continues to send photos of the Red Planet.


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