With Christians being targeted left and right, Satan worshippers are concerned that if Christianity dies so does the fear of Satan. So is Beelzebub worried? We got an exclusive interview with the dark lord to get his opinion.
“Omg really? Like I care if anyone worships me! I’m too busy putting the smack down on this planet.” Seems for him things are going as planned. “Ive always been kind of a loner, once I went trick or treating and all I got was some breath mints. I can’t wait to torture these morons!”
Seems as though he really could care less about the future. “people are definitely on
track for extinction. Btw I wrote ‘We are the world’, it was kind of an inside joke.”
Not sure what he’s gonna do after all humans cease to exist. When prodded he stated, “I don’t know, I was thinking about hitting up that sushi guy no one can get a reservation for. Also, I’ve always wanted to dog sled, but it’s so damned cold!”
Yes, with humans falling into line as he planned it seems as though he’s gonna be a little bored. But don’t worry about the devil, “I’ll just hang out here in hell and torture all those people who did bad things. Wait I did bad things… I’m confused.” He vanished in a white cloud of smoke before we could ask him if OJ was guilty.
He said he’d return right away after he caught up with the Kardashians. What a guy! I’m sure he’ll be back to tell us, why would he lie?