Keck Observatory, Hawaii – Scientists were stunned on Monday when new images taken by the Keck Telescopes revealing the cold, black depths of nothingness moments before the Big Bang, were actually shots taken with the dome doors closed.
Currently among the largest astronomical telescopes in use, the 33 ft primary mirrors produced dark and lifeless images of an area of space thought to be near the beginning of the universe as we know it.
Missing out on a Big Bang
Astronomers were thrilled by the chance to imagine wild new theories that these useless images could neither confirm nor deny. “We just love vague, confusing astronomical images,” states Dr. Noah Lott, “making up far-fetched theories and arguing them among our peers is a great way to avoid the rest of mankind’s ills.”
Early critics had noted that even such large telescopes could not possibly have seen so far into the universe’s history- a fact that would have been disputed had the doors actually have been opened. For now, scientist’s are reportedly researching Neil de Grasse Tyson’s Twitter feed for witty remarks about the incident.